How To Win Back Your Girlfriend
In order to explain how to win back your girlfriend, one must first look at what caused the breakup in the first place. Somewhere along the way there must have been a serious lack of communication in order for this to happen. Your first step is to figure out where the communicating between the two of you went wrong. This introspection should be done while you are apart, and while there is absolutely no communication between the two of you. You can’t start to fix something until you know where it went wrong in the first place. As you look at the pros and cons of your relationship you may actually discover that you do not want to win back you girlfriend. But let’s assume you do and let’s look at how to proceed.
As mentioned above there should be no communication at all. Let her have some time and space to get herself back together, and give her some time to reflect on the relationship, just as you are doing. This will go a long way in helping you to formulate a plan to win back your girlfriend. You also should not be focusing on all the positive things about her, as no one is that perfect. You need to understand you are not looking at the total relationship if you are still in the mode of worshiping her. Evaluate her strengths and weaknesses, and at the same time do the same thing for yourself.
After a period of time has gone by and you’ve taken a good hard look at the relationship, then it’s time to call and have a short conversation. Keep it lighthearted, keep it in the present and let the focus be on her and how she is doing, and not on yourself. Talk about movies, news or any topic that is relevant to today. Don’t let the conversation slip into the past. Neither of you are ready to go there yet. Keep the call fairly short, upbeat and chatty.
Within the next few days, it’s a good idea to find some cute funny card at your local card shop and send it to her. Include a short note, maybe remembering something funny the two of you did together, or something funny that happened that the two of you experienced in the past. This will let her know that just as the conversation was light and breezy, so too is the note. This note has the added benefit that it will show her there is no pressure, no guilt trip and no recriminations.
The next step could be to ask her out to something that no one likes to do alone. A play or live theater would be a good first step. Little conversation, no conflict and no pressure. Afterward you could even have a coffee at some nice coffee shop and simply talk about the the evening. This allows you to stay away from topics that could upset the balance you are striving for. If there is something that is going on in her life, you could ask her to call you after the event, so that she can let you know what happened. Beside showing interest in her, it also puts the onus of the next call on her. Now things are becoming more of a two way street.
As you rebuild the relationship there will come a time when the subject of seeing a counselor should come up. Even if it’s to help end the relationship in friendship or to explore the possibility of resuming the relationship, this would be a good idea and would help the two of you to resolve issues with a neutral person in the room. Then let the counselor take it from there.
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